Are You being Fair?

  Are you really being fair to your children?  If you have a child that is special in any way (gifted, troubled, bad health, etc.)  it's natural to give that child more attention than other children in the family.  There are times when every child has a reason to be in the limelight...  I'm talking about the child that is consistently there.  All children need attention...even the quiet strong ones.  By recognizing that you may have one child who is getting all the attention (positive or negative) you are taking the first step towards making the situation better for everyone in your family.  Spending one on one time with each of the other children is a really great practice. Do something that your child likes (bike ride, play ground, coloring, etc.).  Use the time with your child to answer any questions he may have about the sibling getting all the attention.  He or she may be worried, jealous, resentful or just confused.  Try to clear things up while keeping the conversation age appropriate.  If they are acting out in a negative way,  it's for your attention.  See and tell them what they are doing RIGHT.  There is a bonus that comes with one on one time...you, as a parent , will get to spend some quality time making  your child feel very special.